I had some worries as most parents do, especially first-time parents. I had to take medication around Five months along in my pregnancy to stop early labor. So, when the time came to have him, I had a few more concerns. He was a few weeks early, but he was a healthy baby at 5 pounds, 19 inches and no concerns. I couldn’t have wished for a better baby. He slept pretty much through the night right from the start. I would have to wake him for feedings. He was hardly ever fussy and didn’t cry much.
He was hitting all the milestones parents and doctors watch and wait for. Some things he did a little earlier than other kids like rolling over and crawling. At about two he showed an interest in numbers and letters. He started counting and knew the alphabet even writing them. The doctor said he was just a smart boy. There were no real concerns until he was three years old. I started getting concerned with his speech. He wasn’t putting words together making full sentences like other kids his age. He would fixate on the tires spinning on his toy cars. Lining objects up perfectly and he couldn’t stand getting his hands dirty at all.
As a parent that worked in the field for kids with Autism I had been told many times I would pick things out and over worry. That all of it was normal for his age. He was after all already writing and counting. So, I dropped my concern with the doctor. However, I did start reaching out more to my coworkers. Where I was given the information on early detection and to reach out to the school district, we lived in at the time to have him evaluated to see if he needed it. I was told I would have a choice of a place to do the evaluation also. So of course I chose the agency I worked for. They knew me and how I was as a person and a parent.
This is when the tantrums started also. Yes, it is normal for a child to have them but in the degree, he had them concerned me. This is where I feel most people don’t understand the true nature of how these can look. So, I will do my best to describe it for you. They are not as other kid’s tantrums. dropping to the floor, yelling and banging on something. They are more intense. He would throw himself against walls, the floor, and furniture. Become easily frustrated with things such as the tires on his cars not spinning fast enough or getting them in line perfectly do to the carpet lifting one higher. becoming upset because his hands got sticky from the ice cream he ate. The look in his eyes I cannot explain. It is a look that I was familiar with from years of working with individuals with autism. Other parents and people that have worked in the field know and can understand. It is as if you can see every emotion possible through a person’s eyes. So much anger and sadness yet almost like a fear. You can see a tension threw out their whole Body almost as if they had just gone through a traumatic event. All while crying as if they couldn’t control it. So, no these are not typical tantrums of a three-year-old I refer to. These are more than a miss behaving child. From my experience this is where a lot of parents are miss understood and judged.
This is when my steps became strides. On one side I had regular doctors who didn’t really know me telling me nothing was wrong. I just needed to be firmer and discipline differently. On the other side I had professionals in behavior and special needs that knew me very well telling me to start early intervention and have him evaluated. Pointing out the who knows me as a person and who doesn’t for the simple fact as I tell my experiences on how I was treated or looked at as from not only other people in the public but doctors and school officials also.
After months of calling and requesting a screening from the school district, and only after getting a coworker who was a specialist to make a few calls to push things along. He finally got screened and evaluated by the school district. I did not know the person that did his evaluation and they didn’t know me. They agreed he was delayed in speech and in his hand and feet coordination. He was enrolled in the early intervention program the agency I worked for had. For me there was nowhere better. They kept up with all the latest studies and things with autism and other disabilities. I was very lucky and grateful to have more than most right from the start.
Now I just had to get an actual diagnosis. What was actually going on with my son. Was it just some mild delays or was there more to it. At that time, I wasn’t thinking Autism. I had only worked with individuals that had very sever Autism along with other disabilities. He wasn’t doing a lot of the things they did. Besides there are a lot of other disabilities and things that it could be. Even with him in an early learning program. I was told he was too young to be evaluated and diagnosed. We would wait until he was five years old and see where he was and then the doctor would make a referral if one needed to be done. With that one of the longest waits of my life began along with the fight advocating for my oldest son.