My pregnancy was scary for me with my youngest. You hear stories about woman who didn’t know they were pregnant and say how couldn’t they tell. Well, when your period still comes like normal and you have no increase hunger, weight gain, or another symptom I can tell you it does and did happen to me. No, I’m not heavy built or very tall either. It is more common for bigger built woman just not in my case. I had actually gone to the emergency room due to server cramps almost as if having contractions. where I found out I was almost Five months along. I hadn’t planned on having any more kids and the kids’ father and I had separated not that long before. How was I going to do this on top of everything else. I remember the nurse coming in excited and happy for me, but I burst into tears. She looked so confused. How could anyone be sad about having a baby. Thankfully the doctor pulled her to the side an explained what I had already told him. She gave me a hug and said, “you got this momma.” It did help it was a fraise we used at my work a lot to each other. After all my job was never easy and could be stressful in itself. Then having two children already with one on the spectrum and now a single parent. Lucky for me I had not only an amazing family for support. I also had a second family at my job that gave support and encouragement.
Boog came a little earlier than expected. He was healthy just under five pounds and 19 inches. almost the same as his big brother. By this time newer studies were showing a rapid increase in Autism and also in siblings. As he got older, I started seeing some of the same traits his older brother had around the same age. He had more of the sensory needs than his brother did, but not the tantrums. I wanted what some people told me to be true. I was just worrying for nothing he was fine. It was too early to tell. I started trying to not worry and look past it, but he wasn’t speaking as other kids his age. Different textures seemed to bother him and his obsession of things spinning was not normal. He wanted to always play with a bottle filled with water making it swirl like a cyclone.
I knew what I needed to do already. I started making the phone calls and setting up the referrals for him to get evaluated for early intervention. With speech delays he was put into the early intervention program at three years old. With his aggression and sensory needs, he would get placed right from that program to another special program. Of course, I fought for him to go to the same program his older brother and sister were already at. They were both doing amazing there after all and the staff knew me and my kids. Some of them even knew Boog since he was a baby. I didn’t have to explain are life history defending myself from judgement by staff assuming my children’s disabilities and behaviors were from a stereotype belief of bad parenting or a dysfunctional home. They were aware of the way the public school district had treated us.
Now with three children in special needs programming, with two on the spectrum my stride is at full pace. All while trying to maintain my career working with special needs children. After all they were like a second family, co-workers and the individuals I worked with every day. Knowing my children were in good hands at their school program helped a lot.